Is physical pain caused by our emotions?

I’d like to think that we physically hurt ourselves for a reason. That it’s a message from the universe letting us know that something inside us is out of balance. That we’re suppressing something, that we’re not following our hearts, that we made the wrong decision, that we’ve been too ego-focused. But when I sprained my ankle badly while hula hooping about 9 months ago, I didn’t think that it meant anything. Because.. Come on? It’s normal to have accidents, it happens all the time. I just had a little too much energy performing this one trick that snapped at my foot. It was just bad luck.

But.. Then it happened again. To the same foot. I was so furious at myself for not being careful, for being reckless and oblivious to being hurt again. My physio shook his head at me and told me to lay off hula hooping for a while, especially on the beach. “I really don’t want to get any permanent damages, so now I’m gonna be careful“, I thought to myself with a determined facial expression. But walking around with a huge backpack, up and down the hills of Queenstown NZ looking for a place to sleep, didn’t exactly help my vulnerable foot.

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“For me it all made sense. I felt layer after layer dissolve from my skin, leaving me more and more vulnerable. I felt tears swell up behind my eyes as I listened to his words with my heart. The same heart that was starting to expand inside me, the same heart that had made me hurt.”

A healing story

Then.. on a sunny yet windy thursday afternoon my friend and I were sitting in the grass overlooking a great lake, when a tall man with beautiful blue eyes and a gentle hungarian hunting dog by his side, sat down and joined our company. “I’m a spiritual healer. I work with many different forms of healing” I heard him say to my friend just as I took a big bite off my bree, tomato and rye sandwich. Woops, that caught my attention! “Oh really. Wow. Well my friend Theresa here has a bad ankle, maybe you can heal it?” my friend quickly said to him with a smile of sincerity. He looked at me as I then blurted out, “what does it mean? Do you know what it means when you hurt your ankle?” He smiled and nodded his head, before continuing his story about his journey into the healing arts.
I haven’t forgotten about your ankle” he said and looked at me with his piercing blue eyes, even though I’d said nothing. “No, no.. It’s fine,” I said with a surprising smile, as if he just caught me stealing one of Santa’s cookies. And then all of a sudden he started talking to my heart about how I felt torn between two worlds. He mentioned my father, he mentioned love, he mentioned relationships. For me it all made sense. I felt layer after layer dissolve from my skin, leaving me more and more vulnerable. I felt tears swell up behind my eyes as I listened to his words with my heart. The same heart that was starting to expand inside me, the same heart that had made me hurt. “How do you feel?” he asked me when his “impulsive healing session in the park” was over. “Hmm… I feel… I feel light,” I then responded as I felt my body react with giggles and invisible tears of warmth, love, and consciousness.

Your ankle will start healing itself now.” He told me as I leaned in to give him a soul hug of gratitude. And indeed it did.
I was ready to hear what he told me, because I had known the truth behind his words all along. I was open to listening with my heart. I was ready to heal myself and thereby my ankle. My ankle got sprained because of the emotional situation I was in. I believe that. I really do. But what do you believe?

bulla Bula bullshit?

Many people would read this, laugh and shake their heads, “You silly hippie woman, that just sounds plain dum“. Well.. I guess we’ll never discover the capability of our heart, body and soul if we go around thinking like that. Which is why you can only heal yourself physically and emotionally if you believe and trust in yourself, in your soul, in the universe, in god, in love.
Everything is connected, our organs, muscles, blood, intestines, bones, brain, heart, feelings, sensations, thoughts, actions, movements.. So why does it sound impossible for some people, to even think that there might be an emotional reason for some of the sicknesses or injuries that we get? I know it’s super hard to find a meaning behind some of the things that happen to us or our loved ones. I know it may sound really “out there” to think that our emotions dealt or un-dealt with can cause physical pain in any form. And I wish I knew more about which parts of the body deals with what emotions, but I don’t… Yet….

No one can scientifically prove the above (as far as I know). It sounds like magic, it sounds like hulla-bulla-bo. And the next time I hurt myself, I might not think, feel or believe that there’s a reason for it. So I’ll start thinking about going to my doctor, I’ll take the medicine and advice she gives me, because she knows how to “fix” me, and I trust in qualification. But I’ll forget to trust in myself, in my body, in my soul. I’ll forget to trust in the amazing power our bodies withhold, the power of healing. Why? Because I’m too lazy, too scared, too caught up in the “western way” – which is amazing, don’t get me wrong. However.. Wouldn’t it be even more amazing to join the western way of the mind together with the alternative healing arts of the heart in a bond of explosive conscious healing? I reckon.

Alternative and conscious healing in any form is highly underrated. Sure there might be many “flukes” out there that don’t really have a clue about what they’re doing. But I actually think it comes down to every single individual to really BELIEVE and open their hearts to understanding and letting go, because the ability to heal oneself is already there.

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And guess what.. When I woke up the next day after my “healing-in-the-park-session” I could stretch my foot out like I hadn’t been able to for weeks.


Loving smiles, Theresa Johanne

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How do we face our fears and pursue our dreams?

The pub was stocked with the same local crew of alcohol-loving customers, from when I used to work there 4 or 5 years ago, which kinda took be by surprise, but not really. Walking around with my two hoops and salty sunburnt skin, I spotted a regular ‘schooner of carlton’ drinking man, that met my eyes with warmth and surprise. “Well hello! How on earth have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages. Are you good?” he genuinely asked after giving me a big hug. I sat down next to him and quickly skimmed the highlights of my past few years.. Hula Hooping, sexology, personal development, love, horses, New Zealand and bla bla bla.. I wasn’t really in the mood of talking about myself, so I turned the conversation around and started asking about him..

As we started chatting he opened up more and more, and told me about his dream to become an actor, which he recently started pursuing. He told me how his family thought he was doomed for, how they kept pushing him to settle down, have kids, get married, to become a responsible adult. I listened while thinking: “Well.. you do spend most of your time in a pub. If I was your family, I’d probably think those same things too.” But who am I to judge someone? So instead I tried tuning in on being present and listened openly to his words, and was actually surprised to discover how much he inspired me.

I feel so happy and completely in my element when I’m on stage.” He told me as his eyes lit up like a christmas tree. “I know that it might not work out, but I’ve thought about attending acting school,” the 46-year old man then said. I felt amazed and as I finished off my corona to go busking, I looked at him and said;”Thank you so much for sharing your story. It has inspired me.” Because it takes guts to say, fuck it all.. This is my dream and I’m gonna pursue it. It takes guts to face your fears of “What if I’m not good enough, what if I lose everything, what if..” It takes guts to leave ones security zone and wander off into unknown waters. Which is why soooo many people end up living a life they might not love or be excited about, because “I couldn’t possibly do what I really want?” Well.. Why not? If a 46-year old (possibly alcoholic) man is giving it a go, then surely you and I can?

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But how do we do it? – I’d like you to find a pen and paper and answer my questions.

1. What do you want in life? Ask yourself, “What are my dreams“?
2. Ok.. How can you make those or that dream come true?
3. Then.. Why are you not making it happen? What is holding you back?
4. Commitments.. Ahh I see. What kind of commitments? Children? Ah yes. They’d get first priority. Can you make it happen anyway? Mortgage? Hmm.. No children? Then what’s holding you back?
5. Fear. Are you afraid of the unknown? Of disappointing? Of failure? Of being laughed at? Are you afraid of money problems? Of not being good enough? Why have you never pursued your dream? What were/are you afraid of?
6. Now ask yourself, “Why am I afraid of that?

One of my biggest fears is not being good enough. I’m a certified sexologist and is capable of giving therapy, however I haven’t given that much therapy. Why? Because deep down I’m scared of not being good enough to help. I’m a semi-professional hula hooper, though I’m often scared of busking for money. Why? Because I’m scared that no one will think I’m good enough for their coin. I was scared to start writing articles, because what if no one wanted to read them? What if people thought I was too much, too little or just real shit at writing?

But I summed up my courage and did it anyway. First off I asked myself: “Why is it so important to me to feel acknowledged by other people? Why aren’t I good enough the way I am? If other people can do it, then why can’t I?

7. Positive thinking. Write this down: “I am amazing in what I do and what I can. I am good enough. I have the power to do whatever I want. I am love and I love myself just the way I am.
8. Look at your list and take it in. Breathe. Read number 7 again and speak the words out loud to yourself.
9. Do you feel more inspired to take a baby step into the meeting of “I’m facing my fears and pursuing my dreams”?
10. If yes.. “High five, and good luck“.. If no.. “Well.. I guess my little list didn’t do much for you. Sorry.

If you don’t know what your dreams are or what you want, but you know, that you want something else or something more in life, then ask yourself: “What do I love doing? What makes me happy? What makes me smile and energized? Write it down. Look at it. Do it, and then do those things some more. Who knows.. You might get a flow of renewed energy that’ll make you dream again.

I have many dreams and many things I’d like to do. . But I get scared all the time. Scared of love, of commitment, of not being good enough, of failure, of not being loved. However I’m not gonna let my fears rule me into not pursuing what I want from life. I’m gonna rule my fears and live a life on the edge, knowing that “at least I gave it a go” instead of wondering, “what would have happened if..


 

Loving smiles

Theresa Johanne

 

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How to turn your angry feminism into peace

It was really hot that day, so I was walking around in my worn out hiking boots, tiny cowboy shorts and sports bra, when he came driving up the driveway. As he stepped out of his work truck I met his gaze and smiled at him cheekily as my response to his, “G’day” was: “Are you feeling hot, do you want to get wet?“. Standing with the water-hose in my hand, I was feeling ready to play in the hot sun – especially with a good-looking stranger. Laughingly with a touch of shyness behind his stormy sea-colored eyes, he politely turned down my offer, rationalizing that it might not be too smart to mix water and electricity, seeing as he was an electrician. “Right.. Gotcha!” I said with a big grin and put down the water-hose, to finish off my gardening. He was watching me from the corner of his eyes, smiling at me whenever our eyes interlocked from a distance, which made me want to chat to him. But I had work to do and so did he, so I simply enjoyed feeling the energy of flirtation stretching in between our space of unspoken words.

Have you seen the hot electrician?” I said to my 19-year old german work mate, who just shook her head and laughed at me: “God woman.. Is that all you think about. Leave the electrician alone.” Well.. I couldn’t. It was just too exciting, and I was just feeling too playful that day. And the fact that we were living deep in the country, with no male energies to play with, made it all a little more interesting. He was standing in the room where us wwoofers were sleeping, fixing something on the wall, when I came in to grab my iPod and hula hoops. I only had to give him an inviting smile before he started chatting me up. We spoke a little about this and that, things I don’t really remember, because I was feeling a bit too warm in his presence, and caught myself fantasizing about him pinning me against the wall. However his work needed attending, and I needed to leave him alone. But oh my.. The electrician definitely sparked some electricity, which I then used as fuel to go hula hooping like a mad woman, listening to Florence and the Machine.

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I looked at the electrician, thinking he was hot, I checked out his body thinking he looked strong and fit, I flirted with his gaze wanting him to check me out, wanting him to see me as something erotic too. I saw him as a sexual object before I thought of him as a person. Is that wrong? When a woman talks openly about things like this, some people might think, “what a slut” and had I been a man saying what I just did about a woman, I’d probably be classified as a sexist, a chauvinist. Certainly not by everyone, but definitely by some.

Lately I’ve met a lot of feminism and man-hate. Especially on social networks like Facebook. I saw this one video from HuffPost Women, showing a bunch of women of all ages, quoting sentences of subtle sexism they’d received from men throughout their lives. Sentences that men just wouldn’t hear in a lifetime. And to be honest it made me feel sorry for the male species. “stop being so dramatic“, “you’d be much prettier if you smiled”, “you’re so exotic, where are you from?” were just some of the sentences some of these women had found discriminating.

Is this for real!? Yes.. we women can be very dramatic, accept it. Yes.. we’re all a little prettier when we smile, accept it. Exotic… I don’t mind looking exotic – thank you.

– If this is all it takes to make some women feel discriminated, then how do you think some women (or men) would react if I had been a man, writing what I just did, about a woman? I’m sure the electrician wouldn’t have minded if I’d said this to him: “I’m sorry but I just can’t concentrate on what you’re saying, because you’re too sexy.” But how would you feel if someone said that to you? How would some feminists feel?

Hmm.. Perhaps some would feel disrespected. Like sex objects. Like their personalities meant nothing. How would I feel? I’d take it as a compliment. Why? Because I like being sexy. Because I know that my personality means everything. Because I know that I’m worth a lot in this world. Because I respect myself.

Fuck off Theresa, are you saying that these women don’t respect themselves? That’s exactly what they do! And that’s why they wouldn’t tolerate being spoken to like a piece of candy.

No.. It’s not what I’m saying. I’m merely pointing out that when you’re happy about yourself and who you are, very little in this world will knock you down, make you angry and push your buttons. Instead of pointing our sticky fingers at other people, be it men, women, religious believers, non-believers, smokers, homosexuals or whatever, we should point that dirty finger at ourselves and look inside. “Why am I getting so upset?” “Why do I feel offended by his/her remark?” “Where does the pain come from?”

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Someone once said I was easy, and I felt hurt. Someone once grabbed my ass, and I felt disgusted. Someone once laughed at me when I spoke, and I felt silly. Someone once told me I was too much, and I wanted to be less. Yes, I’ve been hurt by the stinging word and actions of men, as well as women, but they helped me look inside, where I found the reason I got upset, was because I just wanted everyone to love me. And so the quest on loving myself began.

If we want world peace, we need to find peace within ourselves. And we certainly won’t find any peace unless we start looking to our hearts and stop blaming other people for our misery!


 

Loving smiles,

Theresa Johanne

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How do we start loving ourselves and find faith in love?

When I’m sitting alone on a rainy day and everything inside me seems dark and sad, I find myself wondering and doubting whether I’ll ever find someone, who I want to settle down and have kids with. If I’ll ever be able to give my heart to someone again? If anyone will be able to handle all of me, including my bitchy kitty claws, mood swings and open mind of craziness? I’ve been a single lady for the past three years and even though I’ve had many flings and lovers, I haven’t met anyone that I could give my heart to, in that same way I did with my first and only boyfriend. However I’ve learnt a heck of a lot about myself and of all sorts of relations between man and woman, that I would never be without! And most of the time I do feel fantastic about being free and on my own, though the feeling of wanting a mate, like penguins mate, always rests firmly in the depts of my soul and sometimes reveals itself like a dagger, poking my heart.

Luckily I’m a very optimistic woman and even though I have my melancholic days where everything seems a bit empty, my positivity and light always shines through, leaving me with a smile on my face that says; “Of course it will happen Theresa. It will happen when you’re ready for it to happen.

However not all people are as optimistic as I, and therefore struggle with all the emotions that come along with “not meeting that someone” or “feeling really lonely“, leaving them with empty feelings such as depression and low self-esteem or a partner that they actually don’t want to be with. I know of people, who continuously keep digging their own graves, as they desperately try to force a connection that’s not there, just to get turned down yet again. I know of people, who settle for “someone that ‘s just OK“, because they’re shit scared of being alone. I know of people, who almost have no self-respect left, as they keep letting people step all over them, because they don’t feel like they’re worth anything anyway. I know of people, who have lost all faith and hope in finding love, and therefore choose to close themselves off to people.

So how do we help ourselves get out of that state of mind, that makes us feel miserable, lovesick, lonely and desperate? And how do we meet that ‘someone’, we dearly want to meet?

Well.. I think we must start off with the words faith, accept and self-love. I have faith that ‘The Everything’ will present one hell of a man before my eyes when my time comes, when I’m ready for him to come. I believe, that there’s a reason I haven’t met ‘him’ yet, just as I believe that everything that happens has a purpose. I choose to have faith and believe in life.

Faithtree_zpsc4a481e7-1_zpsd2464639If you have no faith in humanity and love you might struggle with seeing the beauty in situations or in people, which might make it harder to see the beauty within yourself. When we have little love for ourselves, it’s really hard for other people to enjoy our company for longer than a few hours. Why? Because we’ve sheltered our light and lust for life off with a dark cloud, that fogs and stains what we wear, what we eat, what we say, what we think, what we do and what we feel, filling us with a heavy and negative energy, that kinda sucks to be around.

To find faith in life we must start with expanding our philosophies and thoughts by living life to the fullest. By living life to the fullest we push ourselves into unknown waters that’ll help us grow. In order to start living life, we have to get out of our comfort zones from time to time and take a few baby steps into the wilderness of living and act like the kids we once were.

Then we must stop ourselves from having too many negative and self-derived thoughts, by changing them in our minds as they pop up. Say what?! Yes, here’s an example:

If you’re thinking:”Hmmff… I don’t think I’ll ever find someone to settle down with, and I’ll probably end up alone.. Oh no, I don’t want to end up alone. But what if no one wants me? Yes.. I don’t think anyone wants me.. What am I doing wrong?”, then you ought to change those thoughts into something like this:”I will meet someone one day, and I’ll never end up alone because I’ll be surrounded by so much love in my life. And I can’t wait to meet that someone, who wants me as much as I want him/her. It will all happen.

Yes, I know what you might be thinking now.. “Ehh.. Duuh. As if you’ll be able to just change whatever you’re thinking into something positive, when you don’t believe in it yourself. How’s that gonna change anything?

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Well.. Have you ever denied doing something (that you did) so many times, that you then started to believe that you didn’t do it? I have. The mind is a powerful tool and we can use it, with our consciousness, to the benefit of our well-being. If we make it into a mantra to change our negative thoughts into positive ones, they’ll sooner than later start effecting our feelings and energies, and it’ll become easier and easier to do. Eventually we will start to believe what we’re saying to ourselves, which brings me to the theme of: How do we start loving ourselves?

When I  bang myself on the head, because of something I did or said, I try to find accept within myself to say: “Done is done, said is said. I am only human, and far from perfect.” Because I’ve come to realise, that I cannot love myself if I don’t accept all of myself – including all my bad faces.

And sometimes when I feel like I’m all alone in the world, I wrap my arms around myself while lying in bed, and gently touch my cheek while thinking or saying out loud:”I love you Theresa, you’ve got such a nice heart. I love you so much.” And just by saying it to myself over and over, my mantra works its magic and fills me up with a warm connection to my heart again.

It might seem a bit strange to “speak” to yourself like that, but with practise it becomes less and less weird, until it feels completely normal. Louise Hay who’s a huge inspirational speaker and author (amongst other things) looks at herself in the mirror and says; I LOVE YOU. Personally I like doing it my way, however I know a lot of people, that have done or do just that, when they feel like they need a little bit of self-love.

So what has all this to do with my previous question: “how do we meet that ‘someone’, we dearly want to meet”?

Aha… let me tell you my theory (which isn’t really mine). When we work on loving ourselves and on finding that sparkling light from within, when we start believing in love and faith and hope and change our attitude towards the world, then everything will become much easier, and then.. When we’re really happy with where we are in our lives, that special someone might just drop down in front of us, like an angel sent from heaven. And if not.. There’s probably a reason for it.

I know all of this is easier said than done, but it’s worth digging in to. If it was easy to love one-self, humanity and life, there probably wouldn’t be hatred and war, which the world is so full of now. Let’s make a change. Let’s practise self-love and work on our positivity – it will do us real good, and who knows? It might even affect the world to the better.

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Loving smiles,

Theresa Johanne

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And then I got a Yoni massage

The first time I encountered the word Yoni-massage was on the Island of Koh Phangang in Thailand, where I was going to do yoga for a month. I’d just left my boyfriend through four years, and was feeling vulnerable yet free, as I arrived at the yoga place with a gentle smile on my lips. I saw some women sitting beneath a palm tree and quickly tuned in on their conversation about orgasms, love, open relationships, chakras and Yoni-massages. “What’s a Yoni-massage?” I then asked with great wonder, having never heard of the word ‘Yoni’ before. I was quickly told, by an american woman with amazing green eyes, that a Yoni is a vagina, and that you could sign yourself up on a piece of paper and pay a professional to massage you. What!? I started laughing, but it was clearly not a joke and so I shut up, gave them a cheeky grin and said, “well, I’m not gonna pay anyone to massage my vagina, as I’ll find someone that’ll do it for free.

I remember thinking a lot about these pussy-massages, as I called them, and was really curious as to what they felt like. Then one day I heard some gossip about the “Indian Guru” Mukdananda giving out Yoni-massages for free, if only you’d go ask him personally. It didn’t take me long to sum up the courage to approach him with all my questions on the matter. What happens during the massage? What does it do me? Is it sexual? Why do you do it? He looked at me with tender brown eyes and told me, that the reason for the massage is not to give the woman an orgasm, but to awaken her own awareness of the depths of her sexuality. Furthermore he told me; “women tend to store many suppressed emotions inside the vagina, which can then be released through the massage. Therefore some women often end up feeling vulnerable and teary during or after the session.”

All of this was turning out to be very interesting, so I asked him if he’d give me one – which he’d love to. Uhhh.. I was really excited and pretty nervous when he, a couple of days later, came on his little scooter, picked me up and drove me to his comfy bungalow. He was a really nice man, and had I felt the slightest bit uncomfortable with him, I’d never gone with him. Anyway… He told me how the session was going to unfold, and that he for the first hour would massage my whole body from top to toe, without touching my private parts, as it was really important, that my body was open and relaxed before starting the massage itself. After that he would slowly start touching me more intimately and gradually increase the speed of his movements, which might give me a feeling of having to urinate, and if that was the case, I was to take deep breaths, release and let go.

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Right, I should be able to do this“, I thought to myself as I then took off all my clothes and lay down on a bed, that was covered with multiple white sheets and a towel. He smiled at me reassuringly, while he found three different bottles of scented oils and started massaging my feet. “Should I close my eyes?” I gently asked him. “You just do whatever makes you feel comfortable, but most women close their eyes, yes.” I felt completely relaxed as I lay there feeling my whole body being touched with awareness and skill, and slowly, as his hands moved closer to my vagina, I started breathing with anticipation and remember thinking; “I hope he touches my clitoris” – but he didn’t. He touched my vagina as it had never been touched before. It felt like he was exploring a cave, where he had to press, push and stimulate ever single part of it on his way into its depths.

Sometimes my thoughts took over the sensations that were flowing in my body, and when they did I’d try to focus on my breathing. I knew that nothing was expected of me. I wasn’t supposed to orgasm. I wasn’t supposed to do anything but merely surrender and feel. Knowing that I was  a”client” made it a lot easier for me, to let go of my thoughts and come back to being present.

As he increased the power of his movements, I felt a little burning pain in my vagina and remember thinking, that it didn’t feel so nice. However after a little while the pain subsided, and then the only thing I could feel was, that I had to pee. Wow, I really had to pee. But I remembered what he’d said to me earlier, and even though it was hard, I let go and thought to myself;”Theresa, then pee. Just let go and do it.” And so I did.. What happened next was crazy..

All sensation from my vagina seemed to disappear, as the only thing I felt, was the blood streaming through every part of my body. My breathing sped up and my head seemed to fill up with black fog, as my jaw got stuck with tension. I wasn’t aware of where I was being touched anymore, as my body just seemed to be flowing with pounding streams of energy, that then made my lower arms and hands feel stuck to my body like a connecting piece of wire. My throat was burning, my back arched and my head shoot back as I inhaled and exhaled with great force.

Ok, I think your Yoni has had enough“, Mukdananda then said to me, and with my jaw still feeling stuck I murmored; “Yes, I think so too..” He smiled at me, while I was lying there looking like a T-Rex dinosaur, and grinningly said; “It’s ok, you can move your body“. But see.. I really didn’t feel like I could, and so I lay there for a couple of moments more, still panting, as I realized that the whole bed was wet. “Did I squirt?” I asked, having no idea about what had just happened. “Woman, did you squirt?! Look at my arms, look at the bed. This isn’t from the oil, it’s all from you,” he said with a soft laugh. I felt a bit shy and giggled softly, as I then tried to get up and go to the toilet, but my legs felt like jelly, so I had to hold onto the wall.

My friend maddy and I posing the T-Rex yoni massage move.

My friend maddy and I posing the T-Rex yoni massage move.

When I sat down on the toilet, trying to pee, I felt like I’d just been shot into the Universe where I met aether, who took me for a spin before pushing me down onto earth again. Yes, it was a pretty intense experience, which felt like nothing I’d EVER felt before..

Before my meeting with the tantric yoga school I wasn’t aware of the depths of my own sexuality. I liked sex and orgasms, sure. But I’d never thought of my sexuality as something deeper, something powerful. I’d never experienced a bodily orgasm before, which was part of what’d happened to me. It wasn’t until I flew back to Denmark, that I realized what an effect the massage had made on me. Not only did it plant a seed, that made me think much more about my sexuality, it also opened up a gate from deep within, that made me more conscious about feeling my whole body instead of just focusing on my vagina.

I haven’t made a ritual of getting Yoni-massages, far from it. However I’m grateful for my experience and often think back on it with a smile. I know it might seem very taboo-breaking and frightening to let someone (that’s not your lover) touch your vagina, but personally I feel like it was a stepping stone to my own personal growth. So if you’ve been thinking about getting such a massage, or have any interest in getting a closer connection to your own sexuality, or have any physical or psychical problems with your vagina, I reccomend trying it.

I can’t tell you what you’ll experience or feel from it, however I can tell you what I felt and experienced – and so I did.


Loving Smiles,

Theresa Johanne

 

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Do you thank the Universe?

For a long time I’d been walking around with a deep thought and wish to make a decent looking hula hoop video, but every time I pulled myself together and said;”Ok. I will make it happen today..” it just didn’t feel right or I couldn’t get into the “hooping mode“, and the thought of doing it all by myself tired me a bit. I would have to find a piece of music and get the artists approval, get a decent camera and then edit the video and stuff… argh.. It seemed like too much work. However I loved daydreaming about someone else making my future video and sincerely believed that it would happen one day.

Then two weeks before I was supposed to leave Denmark with a one way ticket to New Zealand, a thoughtful man wrote me a message on Facebook, saying that he had some top professional friends that were looking for a hula hoop dancer to shoot an art experiment video of and that these guys have made music videos for Danish pop stars such as Medina. WHAT!? I nearly spat out my drink as I grinned with excitement and quickly wrote back that I’d love to it, and got in contact with the man who was gonna make this happen.

So on friday morning that same week, I rode my bike to Frederiksberg and walked into this huge studio wearing black and no make up with my hoops around my shoulder.. A man and woman looked up at me with smiles that wrote;”Ehh, who are you?”so I said, “Hi I’m Theresa, I’m here to hula hoop?.” They both started laughing a bit, as they pointed me in the direction of the team of three that were waiting for me. After some introducing we sat down in the kitchen for some breakfast, that only I ate, and while the make-up artist was taking a good stare at my face, they discussed what kind of “look” they we’re going for. I felt a relief when I heard the word “natural“, followed up by a feeling of “Oh, I wonder what my belly will look like in just a pink bodystocking.

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I sat there drinking my tea and eating my bread with jam when I asked; “so what exactly is this video for?” They both smiled like little boys and told me they’d listened to a radio programme about hula hooping and thought it’d be fun to experiment with something like that. My chest felt warm with excitement as I then asked; “So will I be able to use the video for myself?” The two men looked at me with cute faces and said: “Oh no, we’re gonna delete it afterwards.. Of course you can use it!And right at that moment I realised (again, again) just how powerful the Universe really is. As the day passed and my superstar hours were long gone, I lay in bed thanking life with all my heart.

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This is just one out of many amazing things, that have happened to me over the years. Is it just because I am lucky? Some people might think so. Is it because I have a big network of “friends”? Hmm.. Could be. However, I feel like there’s more to it than so. I’m generally a very positive woman and tend to see the light in darkness. When I daydreamed about my hula hoop video I only thought and felt good and positive things, my heart was warm and it made me smile. Could it be, that because I so dearly wanted it, the Universe gave it to me? How does that work? Well.. I don’t really know, but some people would call it The Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction states that what you send out is what you receive. Do you think and feel positive, positive things will happen to you, however do you tend to think and feel in negative ways, negative things will happen to you. So according to this Universal Law, we should be able to receive our hearts desires, as long as they come from a place of love.

Now… I’m not stating that this is correct, I’m just conscious of the fact that good things often happen to me, which makes me wonder with gratitude as to why this is?

Oh well… I guess I can spend the rest of my life wondering how to find the key to unlock this secret, so I can use it to gain all the things I want, or I can merely accept the fact, that I’ll never be able to reveal the truth of this universal riddle and thereby choose to smile with gratitude and humbly say; “Thank you Universe!” whenever life gives me flowers. I bet a lot people out there have received gifts from life (small or big) that have left them with an expression of awe and amazement. In fact, I think it happens to most people, however I’m not to sure that most people are aware of it happening. And what a shame that is, because I’d certainly feel sorry if no one thanked me for the gifts I’ve given throughout my life.

It might seem silly to thank life, especially If you don’t believe in a higher power, but gratitude can move mountains and will always leave you feeling good, so do it for the benefit of yourself – and who knows? You might take a liking to it.

The more gratitude I feel, the more love I get for life. 

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Loving smiles,

Theresa Johanne

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Will we ever understand women?

I need my personal sexologist“, a man said to me, as I picked up my phone; “I really don’t get women!” And so he told me the story, of how he had met this amazing woman on a dating site, how they had gone on a few dates, had crazy good sex, and how they both felt so much love for each other, until she abruptly sends him a message saying that they should probably stop seeing each other, because she cares too much about him, and it wouldn’t work out. I remember reading the messages from her (because he sent me all of them) and knew straight away what was going on.

Take it easy.” I told him while sitting on a green bench in Copenhagen. “I think she’s scared. She’s scared because she obviously hasn’t been with anyone for a long time, and the last person she was with hurt her. She’s scared to open up and believe in what could be. She’s on a dating site for a reason, and she wants to let love into her life. When she suddenly pulls away from you like this, it’s because she’s starting to feel cracks in her protective shield.” I let him think about it for a minute before adding; “She says it’s probably best you cancel your upcoming date, I say you don’t give her the option. Take away her choice and tell her you’ll be in her place in 20 minutes.” He started laughing a bit on the phone and asked me if I was sure, “well.. If you don’t wanna let this thing slip, I highly suggest that you do it.” 

A few days later he called me up to say; “Thank you. I told her I was coming over, that she had no say in the matter and for her to stay put. We had the most amazing time together, and everything is great between us. If you hadn’t told me to do it, I would’ve believed her words and let her go.

Yes, we women can be very hard to understand if you’re not one of us. Heck, sometimes I don’t even understand myself, so I tend to see myself as the wind – most of the time I move with a light breeze, however in a split second I can spin around like a hurricane.

The wind and the great oak

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The wind had been dancing with the leaves on the big oak tree, tickling, caressing and kissing them, but the next day a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions made her tear up and break some of the small sticks on the great oak, testing his stability. The oak felt pain, but knew, that all he had to do, was to stay put with his roots planted solid in the ground, because what is a little pain and confusion when you’ll be treated with the soft touch of a romantic breeze after standing firm?

There’s one thing that will ALWAYS secure a place in my heart, and that’s the great oak. No matter how much I push, tear and slap him, he stays solid in the ground,  until I, with a deep exhale, settle down to caress his branches. Why do I do that? Well… I think it’s a way of testing his love – can he really accept all of me? Wil he still be there when I chuck a tantrum? Does he really love me?

No matter how often tells me, I will always be the wind.


Loving smiles,

Theresa Johanne

 

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