Is it important to masturbate?

Growing up with a bunch of siblings a great deal of love and a whole lot of catholic messages, sexuality and sex became a taboo in my home. Feelings such as shame walked side by side with words like sex and masturbation, which meant that I seldom masturbated as a teenager. When I as a 19 year old got my first boyfriend and had never had an orgasm, I accepted it as a part of me. I was probably just one of those women that couldn´t (they existed, I’d read in a magazine). Sex… I liked that, and it turned me on, to turn him on. My confidence quickly rose, and ironically enough sex became a very big part of my personality, even though I didn’t really know my own sexuality. During sex I wasn’t able to relax properly, since I’d think more about what he liked, how I looked or if it was good for him, than to feel what was good for me. I remember in the beginning of my sexual debut and some years onward, I couldn’t stand to get my vagina licked, because I knew he wanted me to come, and well... I couldn’t. No, he should just stop so I could give him a blowjob instead. With all this being said I still thought I’d had an orgasm – until I got one! After breaking up with my boyfriend and having read somewhere that all women are love and orgasmic creatures, it became my life mission to reach an orgasm, which I was (almost) sure would happen. Mission masturbation became alive, but geez… it was hard work to start out with. Thoughts came streaming in from all sides and ankles, which made it really difficult for me to feel the sensations in my body. I allowed myself to take small breaks and would slowly start touching myself again, once I, with the help of my breathing and consciousness, got the feeling back in my body and about two hours later I’d  finally gotten my first orgasm. Ahhh… That was nice. So nice, that I actually started masturbating three times a day, until I really started to know myself and how my body worked. Practice makes a champion, and after enough masturbation I could make myself come in 10 minutes or less. My feeling of self-worth rose to the sky; I turned on the charm and felt ready to meet a guy. Though after one night in the sack I’d think: “Oh… That was that. I would have gotten much more out of being alone with my almond oil, pink dildo and my clitoris.” These thoughts didn’t last long, but gave birth to another mission – to reach orgasms during sex. (more…)

By Theresa Johanne, ago